Sex Toys and Emotionally Safer Sex

An often overlooked aspect to safer sex is the idea of sex being emotionally safe. By this I mean that you should never have sex unless you’re willing. If your partner is interested in using sex toys and you don’t feel comfortable or safe, let them know. There may be ways for you to get comfortable with the idea of using sex toys (the best one is to try it out on your own first) but the bottom line is that you shouldn’t use sex toys because your partner insists or because you think they are required for a stellar sex life. Sex toys can be great, but they are by no means necessary for everyone.

Talking with Kids About Sex

Many parents would rather not talk with their kids about sex. Of course many parents would rather not talk with anyone about sex. And while you can choose to avoid sexual communication in your adult life with romantic partners (but I wouldn’t recommend it) if you choose to never talk with your kids about sex you do so not only at your own peril, but theirs as well. There are lots of good reasons to talk with your kids about sex. Here are a few of my favorites.
Talking with your kids about sex can help keep them safer.There is a lot of research that has shown that when parents talk with their kids about sex, their children are:
more likely to use contraception
more likely to delay intercourse
less likely to have a teenage pregnancy
To be clear, it’s not just any kind of sex talk that helps, and some of the survey research offers conflicting reports on the impact of talking with your kids about sex, which may reflect the fact that it is possible to talk with your kids about sex in ways that are not helpful. So while it’s a good idea to talk with your kids about sex, it’s equally important to know what makes for good sex education and what the best way is to do it.
Kids listen to their parents when they talk about sex. It might surprise some people who think of teens as extremely disaffected and contradictory to find out that both adolescents and teens, when asked, say they listen to what their parents have to say about sex:
One study in 1995 found that adolescents rated parents higher in credibility than school and friends when it comes to getting sex information (although they rated them low in “accessibility”).
A more recent 2006 survey by the Canadian Association for Adolescent Health found that sixty three percent of teens considered their parents a major source of information, and forty three percent thought parents were the most useful and valuable source of information.
It may be true that when they reach a certain age your kids are less likely to listen to what you have to say about many things. Interestingly, sexuality doesn’t seem to be on that list.
You’ll learn things from talking with your kids about sex.Having to talk with your kids about sex means having to re-think many aspects of sexuality you may now take for granted. Even answering a simple question like “why would anyone want to have sex?” (not an uncommon question among kids of a certain age) requires us to think carefully about what sex means for us. In another example, with an older child, you might have to do some research just to keep up with sexual options on line, and this means learning for yourself as well as your child.
The fact is that when it comes to sex we’re all life long students. Our sexuality never stops changing as we age and this means that as long as we don’t turn away from it, there is always something new to learn. Talking with your kids about sex is another way to keep your mind open to the meaning of sex in your own life.
Talking about sex with your kids can further develop your relationship.Any relationship that’s based on communication is going to have its challenges, and often its in overcoming those challenges that the relationship grows. Your relationship with your kids is no different, particularly as they get older and become more independent adults. Talking with your kids about sex won’t always be easy, but it’s well worth the effort, and the payoff can be more than a healthy child, it can be a healthier relationship over

Male Sexuality

If all you knew about male sexuality was what you learned from male sex toys, you’d think men were a sorry bunch. There have been penis rings, pumps, and sleeves for as long as sex toys have been around, but somehow making male sex toys to celebrate sexual pleasure (as opposed to fix a problem or correct a deficit) is just beginning to catch on among forward-thinking sex toy manufacturers.
Male sex toys are not designed for a specific kind of man. A vibrator packaged for a gay customer will feel just as good to a straight one, and vice-versa. A better way to understand the selection of male sex toys is to think about the function of the toy, not who it’s marketed to. If you’re trying to find your way around the world of male sex toys, the breakdown below may help.

Penis Rings
Penis rings are more commonly thought of as devices that assist in maintaining an erection than as sex toys. It’s true that the right kind of penis ring can help you prolong an erection. But penis rings can offer a world of pleasurable sensations, too. By changing the way your erection feels, a penis ring not only changes how sex play feels, but it heightens your awareness of your body when you are turned on. Some people also use penis rings as body adornment.

Vibrators
For Men Any vibrator designed for external stimulation can be used by a man, and many men love the strong, consistent buzz a vibrator can provide. Vibrators designed specifically for men usually attach to the penis by a ring or straps (essentially a vibrating penis ring). These can be fun and are conveniently hands-free. Men will enjoy these most if the vibrator is face down, stimulating the scrotum; they can also be worn with the vibrator on top to provide stimulation for a partner during penetration. The drawback to vibrating rings is that they usually lack the power men need. Hand-held electric or rechargeable vibrators are more likely to deliver the strong vibrations that will get a man over the top.
Learn more about vibrating rings


Penis Pumps
Putting aside the false claims about permanently increasing penis size, penis pumps are enjoyed as a sex toy by men, mostly for masturbation. When a penis is in a pump and the pump is activated, the sensation is one of pressure and suction; the tightness around the opening of the pump is pleasurable for some men. Penis pumps are definitely an acquired taste, but with models available for as little as $20 and options that come with vibration, they can be another fun toy to try. Just remember that they don’t permanently enlarge anything other than the wallets of penis pump manufacturers.


Sleeves and “Masturbators”Another type of male sex toy is sometimes called a penis sleeve or a “masturbator.” Calling it a masturbator is a bit of a misnomer, as many couples include these toys in their partner play. There are thousands of variations on the penis sleeve, but most share a common design. They are tubular in shape with an opening for the penis. There may be bumps or grooves inside the sleeve, as well as features such as vibration, suction, or even motors that move up and down. Some sleeves are open-ended (which, incidentally, makes them much easier to clean.) Some are much shorter than the penis, while others are longer. A major difference between sleeves is the material they're made of. Material differs in durability, density, and overall feel. There is no “best” material, but one that allows you to feel pressure applied from the outside of the sleeve is recommended.
The FleshlightThe Fleshlight falls into the previous category of penis sleeves, but it is such a unique product that it deserves a category of its own. (Plus, they’ve come up with so many variations that it’s more than a single product.) The Fleshlight is the most durable and softest male sex toy on the market. Made of unique material that’s yet to be duplicated, The Fleshlight creates an enveloping feeling, and the models with ridges and bumps can provide intense stimulation at the same time. The Fleshlight isn’t just available in a faux female genitals look, which is appreciated. It has non-descript openings, as well as a vulva, mouth, anus, and bum. This pick is much more expensive than any other male sex toy, but it's well worth the cost for the male sex toy aficionado.





Anal Toys
While it must be said that anal play is not necessary for a happy and hot sex life, the fact remains that for men, as for women, the anus is a site of tremendous pleasure potential due to it’s sensitivity to pressure and concentration of nerve endings. For any man who wants to explore anal play, there are a host of great toys designed to be safe. There are three types of anal toys which are each used for a different kind of anal play: butt plugs, anal beads, and anal dildos. Additionally, a few companies have begun making toys specifically designed for prostate stimulation. The first on the market, and still the best known, is the Aneros line of male prostate massagers.

In The Spotlight Sex Tips

A Broader Way to Think About Sex Anna Freud famously wrote that "sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." If you're trying to make your life easier you may want to simply how you think about sex. But no one said a good life, or a good sex life, was going to be easy, and while it may seem counter-intuitive, the more you complicate your definition of sex, the clearer living a sexual life can become.

Education For the First Time User

Few if any vibrators come with instruction manuals. On the one hand, you might think that no manual is necessary -- after all shouldn’t you know how to use a vibrator? But if you’ve never used one, how exactly are you supposed to know how? Most people do manage to stumble their way to pleasure with a vibrator, but if you’re looking for a few helpful hints here is a beginner’s guide for women on how to use a vibrator.

Difficulty: N/A
Time Required: For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More


Here's How:
Get to know your vibrator.Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery case. Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws, return your vibrator before you use it.
Start on your own.Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).
Play with the lights on.Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.
Turn it off before you turn it on.Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run the vibe along your body without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. If the vibrator is a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try the above with your clothes on. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle way of introducing your body to the vibrator.
Move your vibrator from the outside in.Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Again, you can start with some clothes on if you like. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, or in circles around your breasts and nipples.
Don’t rush: Explore every inch.The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Most women use vibrators for clitoral stimulation and many women report that one side -- or even one portion -- of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight (in fact some vibrators come with flashlights). Don’t rush, leaving a vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation connections that previously weren’t there.
Play with the speed of the vibrator.Most vibrators have multiple speed settings (or at least two settings). Always start on a low setting and work your way up. If a vibrator feels too strong at first you can put a towel between you and the vibrator, or just press it lightly against your body. You may find that on some areas a lower speed is all you need, and on others stronger is better. Some vibrators have “pulsation” settings, but you can also play with turning the strength up and down in rapid succession.
Play with pressure.Experiment with applying different pressure. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with clitoral stimulation or you may want to hold a vibrator just slightly above the body. You can press your vibrator deep into your skin and massage the muscles while also feeling the stimulation of the motor. With most battery-powered vibrators, the more pressure you apply the lower the vibration feels. Also the stronger you hold your vibrator, the more vibration gets absorbed by your hand. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down, and find what works for you.
On point or flat out.Most vibrators will have a point or an edge. Try touching yourself with the finest point of the vibrator. Next put the widest or flattest part of your vibrator against your body. When you focus on one point, the vibrations can feel more intense than when the vibration is being dispersed around a wider area. You may find that the feel of the vibrator on your labia, or above your clitoris feels awesome. Because the clitoris extends inside the body, deep vibration in this area can feel great, and different than direct clitoral stimulation.
Using a vibrator for penetration.Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for penetration there’s no reason not to try it. A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. In almost all cases. it’s recommended to put a condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for penetration. You should also use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on your vulva and just inside your vagina.
Exploring penetration with a vibrator.Start slow with penetration and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first. While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to find and stimulate the g-spot It has also been hypothesized that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top of your vagina (such as pressing it towards your belly) may provide g spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral stimulation.
Using your vibrator with a partner.You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe, using it on yourself to add stimulation during sex play with a partner. You can use the vibrator on your partner (or vice versa). You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.

Sex Toys Tips

Tips:

G spot vibratorsSome vibrators have a curved tip and are sold as g spot vibrators. These toys can make it easier to reach the g spot but they are no guarantee that you’ll enjoy g spot stimulation. Also, any firm vibrator can be used to stimulate the g spot.
Safety tip: vaginal or anal penetration.If you want to insert a vibrator anally, only use vibrators designed for anal penetration. The toy should be smooth and seamless, and should have a flared base to prevent it from slipping all the way in. Read more about anal sex toy safety.
Vibrator strength trick.If you’re using a vibrator on a partner and you want to vary the strength of the vibration you can do this by grabbing the vibrator tighter and getting a larger grasp on it. When you do this your hand absorbs more of the vibration and to the person on the other end it feels like the vibration is getting a bit lower. Loosen your grip and the strength will come back.
Take your batteries out.Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in, the vibrator may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from. Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case, destroying your vibrator.

HOT STEER

I know all you lusties love your toys so this week I thought I would find some tips on how to make your little treasures last.
First of all, Water-Based Lubricants work best with most toys. Oil and Silicone Lubes are mainly there for men taking care of themselves. Oil can get trapped inside the woman’s vagina and cause infection. Never use Vaseline or petroleum jelly on a toy it will break down the material of your toy.
Condoms can be used over any toy. This helps keep the fluids away from your toy. It also helps ensure safety if you are going to share your toys. (Just don’t forget to change the condom!!)
* After use, spray a toy cleaner such as Safe Suds on the toy or wash/wipe down your vibrator with warm, soapy water, rinse, and air dry. Be careful not to get the mechanical parts wet, or your vibe will become a paperweight.
* Remember that Water safe does not mean Waterproof. To be on the safe side anything without batteries is always safe for the tub!
* Take batteries out of your Vibe after you are done using it. This will prolong the life of your toy and your batteries.
* Keep the cord on a plug-in vibe from bending where it attaches to the wand - that’s the Achilles heel of the toy, and the reason most Magic Wands eventually die.
* Keep the toys away from your pets and children! Often overlooked, but what an embarrassing situation that could be…. (Use your imagination!) To keep your toys put away where pets or children can’t come across them, pick up a Toy Box or for a less obvious place, transform an old box in to a new sexy toy home and store it under the bed, or in a closet.
* Silicone Toys need to be stored in a plastic bag. Cyberskin™ is best air-dried. If that isn’t possible just get it as dry as you can with a cloth, and then dust the toy with cornstarch so it will maintain it’s smooth surface.
Go ape to improve your sex life. Gorillas may have tiny penises (less than 3cm long) but they make up for it with hours of arousing mutual grooming. Doing this releases pleasure-inducing brain chemicals and makes great foreplay. Have your man wash your hair or ask him to rub your body lotion in. Or offer to scrub his back while he’s in the bath. Who said sex had to be dirty?
If you wake in the middle of the night aching for sex, act on this impulse before your mind kicks in and you start ticking off the hours till the alarm sets off. A bit of nighttime pinch and tickle is one of the most liberating sexual experiences a couple can share. The sex invariably starts out slow and mellow but it doesn’t take long for a certain wildness to creep in – before you know it, you’ll be grunting and bucking like a couple of wild beast.

Sex Toy Buzz

How much do you know about sex toys?

Sex toys seem to be everywhere these days (you know they’re mainstream when Martha Stewart is talking about her favorite vibrators). And while it’s easier than ever to buy a sex toy, finding straightforward honest information about sex toys can still be tricky.

12 Secrets to Better Orgasms

12 Secrets to Better Orgasms
1. Hit the hot spots.A friction position may help you have an orgasm during intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow underneath your butt. You may even want to try using a vibrator during intercourse,
2.Talk the talk.“ Men really want direction,” Berman says. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning.
3.Learn on your own.You can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. “To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate,”
4.Exercise your orgasm muscles.“Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then tone them by clenching when you’re not peeing. Do Kegels every day, ideally a few times a day. And keep breathing while you squeeze.
5.. Get risky.Research shows that engaging in thrill-seeking behaviors together (whether it’s rock climbing or just going to see a scary movie) stimulates dopamine in the brain, which gets your juices flowing.
6.Delay the pleasure.“The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the explosion,” Get yourself close to orgasm, then slow to a simmer. Repeat that a few times before you climax.
7..Focus on breathing.Tantric sex may sound new-agey, but its central tenet—focused breathing—may boost your pleasure. “You can use your breath to channel your sexual energy,” Partners who breathe in tandem may slow the rush to orgasm and create a bigger buildup, which can intensify pleasure.
8.Explore erotica.Porn isn’t all about big penises and deep throats. Erotic movies and books can be tasteful and arousing, and the more aroused you are, the better your orgasm chances. The sex scenes are steamy, and there’s a plot.
9.Try creative foreplay.If it takes you longer than your partner to warm up, get a head start by e-mailing or text messaging each other sexy messages (but don’t get too graphic—e-mail is not necessarily private).
10. Check your meds. Women are more likely than men to take anti-depressants, which are known to hurt a person’s sex life. If you’re having trouble, talk to your doctor about your meds.
11. Get help early.If you’re not orgasmic, advice from a pro may be helpful. Nerve damage or low testosterone could be the problem . “Your doctor can do a medical evaluation,” or look at relationship factors. To find a sex therapist, check with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at aasect.org.
12. Relax.In a recent French study of 500-plus women, more than 70 percent said work stress compromised their sex drive. A low libido, obviously, lowers chances of orgasm. So ditch life’s distractions at your bedroom door.

Sex Toy Tips

Sex Toy Tips


Sex toys offer everything from a little extra buzz in the bedroom to some much appreciated extra help finding the right sexual spot. Take a guided tour of the wonderful world of sex toys and erotic devices; from feathers to vibrators from lubricants to leather harnesses.Sex Toy Tips
Sex toys offer everything from a little extra buzz in the bedroom to some much appreciated extra help finding the right sexual spot. Take a guided tour of the wonderful world of sex toys and erotic devices; from feathers to vibrators from lubricants to leather harnesses at http://www.naughtyillusions.com/

*Can't find it on the site call me @ 202 562-2421 leave your name, number and message and I will get right back with you.

10 Sexual Fantasies for Women

10 Sexual Fantasies for Women who needs to check out Lickoris
Need a little help getting your fantasy life going? Here are 10 hot and steamy stories to get you started. And remember, fantasy comes from relaxing and letting your mind wander!

Sexual Submission Women often imagine themselves being ravaged and taken control of — it doesn't mean you want it in your real sex life, but it's fun to entertain the idea. Fantasize about someone powerful having his way with you sexually. Maybe there are blindfolds or restraints. Maybe you're taken by surprise!

Voyeuristic Sex You're being watched while you're having sex, maybe being forced to have sex in front of other people. You might also be the one spying on someone else having sex. Anyone, a stranger or someone you know, can be the subject of this fantasy. You would be ashamed — maybe ruined — if anyone ever found out. But that's exactly what makes it so good!

Knight in Shining Armor This is the romantic's fantasy. Your perfect man courts you, seduces you, and makes you feel everything you've ever desired. He treats you in all of the ways your partner does not. He pampers you, understands you, and totally worships you. He also makes all of your sexual fantasies come true, without your even asking.

Being a "Bad" Girl Women who follow all the rules in daily life may dream of letting the bad girl out to play. Maybe you strip for a roomful of men or seduce a man you've just met for casual sex. You're aggressive, and you go after who and what you want with no apologies!

Taking Control Many women dream of taking charge in their favorite sexual fantasies. You could be a dominatrix leading a man back to your hideout and planning to make him your sex slave. You'll tie him up until he promises to be submissive, and then you'll tell him when, where, and how to touch you.

Sex With an Ex Do you, like many other women, have an ex who rocked your world sexually or who loved you and left you (giving him a permanent place in the land of unresolved relationships)? Imagine running into him unexpectedly and beginning a passionate affair — because the sex is still that good.

Girl-on-Girl It's you and the woman of your dreams. Whether Angelina Jolie is your idea of a hot babe or you'd rather make someone up, fantasizing about lesbian sex is especially appealing for women who've never actually experienced it. Imagine what her female body feels like (so different from your partner's) and how you'll stimulate each other.

Group Sex Everything from an orgy to a threesome falls into this category. Maybe you're watching a group of other people have sex. What about having a threesome with two guys? Two girls? A guy and a girl? You kiss one person but your hands are on another. Anything goes!

Sex on the Beach You're on vacation, so everything is tropical and lazy. You've met someone intoxicating and you're having sex on the hot sand, the water about to crash onto you. Sex has never been so good! You're in paradise, but you know it has to end.

Kinky Sex Dreaming of something even more outrageous? This is the fantasy about your deepest desires — the ones you would probably never share with anyone — but that arouse you and provoke you. Maybe they are desires that go against all of your morals, or are even societal taboos. Use your imagination. No one has to know.